In the Glow of the Lavalamp; Stories of Bad Sex and Other Misfortunes

In the Glow of the Lavalamp; Stories of Bad Sex and Other Misfortunes delivers stories of sex and life gone hilariously wrong, set in the bathtubs, back seats, battlegrounds, and bedrooms of America. These tales confirm that bizarre is indeed the nature of being human and humor may be the best path through it.

Earnest people, hell-bent on believing that reality lies at the surface of things, careen into disaster as they stumble over the unspoken and unacknowledged. You’ll laugh, grimace, maybe even shriek with recognition. Dark humor, satire.

99 Cent Bargain eBook from November 10 – 21, 2017

Running With a Sweet Talker

She’s a take-no-prisoners fireball. He’s a sweet-talking charmer. It could be love…if they don’t kill each other first.

Hotshot lawyer Luanne Price may not believe in happily ever after, but she’d do just about anything to earn her absentee father’s love. So when he waltzes back into her life with a plan for her to marry his business associate, she foolishly agrees. But on the wedding day, things go south. Fast. Luanne’s desperate to get away, even if that means hitching a cross-country ride with the infuriating Jack Avery.

Jack needs to get Luanne out of his system. He’ll watch her tie the knot and forget about her. Once she’s married to another man, then she’ll be off-limits forever. Solid plan. Until he spots her army-crawling through the bushes to escape the Wedding of the Season.

He knows he should let someone else deal with the runaway bride. But if there’s one thing Jack has never been able to do, is resist Luanne. Will their romance rev up on the open road, or will Jack and Luanne crash and burn?

99 Cent Bargain eBook from October 29 – November 4, 2017

Maternally Challenged – How My Special Needs Son Taught Me To Sack Up & Laugh!

Moms, if you think your life is going to be perfect, I’ve got news: It’s not happening.

This book details the many curveballs life has thrown my way. It’s where I embrace the mistakes I’ve made (and hope you don’t judge me too much). As a mother of two with a special needs son, I know what it’s like to have a family that doesn’t fit the mold – and I love it. My kids are the gifts that keep on giving.

I’m tipping a hat to my journalism past and sharing my family’s crazy stories to help other moms realize that life isn’t that bad. If you had a terrible day and screamed at your kid, big deal. Here you’ll find inspiration for moms who aren’t sure about what they’re doing. (And don’t worry, there are a lot of us.) I’ve realized that dysfunction is at its best when family’s concerned, and believe me, mine is no exception.

We’ve all got adversities in life. My response? Laugh through it!

FREE eBook from September 21 – October 20, 2017

Roving Mad: Odd Encounters

What makes an encounter stick in our memories?

Why do we remember some our whole lives and others not at all?

Learn the strange encounters of a wide-roving scientist, from all over the world.

Prepare to laugh and be shocked as Malcolm Windsor takes you on an astonishing journey.

Join him as he survives Nazi bombing to Hollywood hellraising via Buckingham Palace and Antarctica.

He suggests that things stick with us because there is madness, fun, embarrassment or craziness involved.

Can countries go mad? Yes, they can and he tells us about some. If the UN had a lunatic asylum they would have been locked up, but usually they locked themselves up. We treasure our memories. We fear losing them. We are our memories.

FREE eBook from August 18 – 20, 2017

Language in the Blood

Until the outbreak of the First World War, young Cameron Blair would have liked nothing better than to stay in Edinburgh and marry his childhood sweetheart. As the call to arms goes out, Cameron and his pals sign up to fight for their country. They are soon delivered into the nightmare of war, and there Cameron more than meets his maker.

The story follows Cameron as he comes to terms with his new ‘life’, from his first days as a hapless vampire in war-torn France to the glamorous modern day setting of the Cote d’Azur. Along the way, he develops a distinctive taste for the finer things in life: jewels, yachts, small dogs and champagne-infused human…

This is a dark comedy, not suitable for the faint-hearted. Cameron, our vampire, has an unusual diet.

FREE eBook from July 20 – 25, 2017

Uncorked: My year in Provence studying Petanque, discovering Chagall, drinking Pastis, and mangling French

Will a foreigner assigned to work in Provence be able to gain acceptance from his French townsfolk? Find out, as Paul Shore’s evocative story telling, wry wit, and big heart, inspire and entertain you, as he tells the tale of how he did just that. Shore’s unwavering determination to fit into life in a quaint village, despite having smoke repeatedly blown in face, saw him eventually embraced within the local culture — at least by a few of his leery French neighbors. Uncorked celebrates the “uncorking” of a few tightly held traditions that are near and dear to hearts of the locals of the Cote d’Azur and Provence – being taught to play petanque (boules) under the clandestine cover of darkness; learning vernissage etiquette; drinking pastis before noon; navigating narrow village roads at top driving speed. Shore also “uncorks” personal awakenings about the value of following roads-less-travelled and making time to smell-the-roses, as we cultivate friendships and traditions. And, through exposure to the life of artist Marc Chagall, Shore reflects on the challenges that all newcomers face to gain acceptance in a foreign land. Shore’s humorous and heart-felt accounts of his year living in Provence will touch and amuse, and evoke fond memories of travel to fascinating places — and they might even trigger reflection on the importance of being afforded new chances in life.

99 Cent Bargain eBook from May 12 – 14, 2017

Static Cling

Hardened matriarch Fionnuala Flood has been banished from the family home, and will stop at nothing to inveigle her way back to rule the roost with her rapier tongue. But a death at the dry cleaners where she works changes everything. Throw into the mix the return of a contestant from the Survivor-like Safari Millionaire, some shocking ancestral DNA results, and Fionnuala’s plan to save the world from evil with an eighth Crusade, and Static Cling is hilarious ride-part roller coaster, carousel and ghost train-that will leave you gasping, wincing and, most of all, laughing. Will a heart at long last grow in Fionnuala? Who killed Mrs. Ming? Read and find out.

FREE eBook on April 3, 2017

A Man’s Guide to Answering Questions from your Wife or Girlfriend

This how-to guide teaches men how to properly respond to over 60 questions commonly posed by women over and over again. Therefore, we provide you with different variations of answers to ensure you are never caught off guard. We must inform you that according to the Code of Federal Regulations and 18 U.S.C. any man caught without a copy of this guide within arms distance, can be deported under President Trump’s Nazi deportation units. If you don’t want to get thrown in the back of a 747 destined for Jakarta, Indonesia…we suggest you purchase the book.

99 Cent Bargain on April 3, 2017

 

Five Monkeys

Nadia Spencer is America’s favorite bi-racial cosmetic surgeon. She’s the UN Special Ambassador for Female Genital Mutilation, a mother to two wise-ass kids, and she’s married to the Republican candidate for Mayor of New York. She’s just launched her new book. He’s four weeks away from election day. The only problem is Nadia wasn’t always a woman. And right now Nadia wants to be a man, again.

99 Cent Bargain eBook from March 31 – April 3, 2017

The Life of Captain Reilly

In flight no one can hear you snore …

John Reilly could be the pseudonym of any modern airline pilot. Fatigued from overwork and dismayed by relentless cost cutting, Captain Reilly finds himself developing an unhelpful aversion to the very people who pay his salary: passengers and managers.

Riding with the Captain on a typical flight, we watch as he struggles with the challenges facing today’s airline pilot: staying awake, keeping crew food down, fending off flirtatious cabin crew and completing the crossword before landing.

But, forced to work away from home, Captain Reilly encounters a new challenge: how to prevent his family life deteriorating faster than the once respected profession that still pays his bills.

The Life of Captain Reilly is a shocking but hilarious insider tale of the modern airline that reveals the industry’s greatest secret: glamour doesn’t fly anymore.

FREE eBook from February 6 – 10, 2017

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